Hail to the Chief

[WILSON]

:)

Guest Submission: Dance With Me

I received this submission from some anonymous rabble rouser who apparently likes the Simpsons. And makes a fine statement in fine style. Have a gander (click on image to view large):

And thanks anonymous mischief-maker, whoever you are 

;-)

Ted Wilson Finally Has His Day

Don C. Schneider

Don C. Schneider is the president of the North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists. He has his own TV show called Really Living. Really Living features Adventists who are evidently not pretend-living, they are (you guessed it) really living.

Schneider was a runner up in the recent Adventist popularity contest here on Caricatures of Adventists. He was barely edged out by David Asscherick. Although he did not win, he deserves his own caricature (you're welcome).

Schneider had surgery in October for a cyst in his brain. The cyst affected his vision and gate. Internet reports reveal that he is making a good recovery after the surgery.

Here's a nursery rhyme about Don Schneider:

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey (this was before she became a vegan).
Along came a spider dressed up like Don Schneider
And invited Miss Muffet to attend an evangelistic meeting.

THE END

The Adventist News Network reports the church is tightening its belt:

Seventh-day Adventist Church leaders announced financial restraints and cutbacks to deal with the current economic situation, ranging from delaying pay increases and budgeted increases in appropriations to reducing travel budgets and relocating executive meetings. Also, a hiring freeze is in effect for the church's General Conference, one of several entities at the church's headquarters building near Washington, D.C.

[Pictured above from left to right: GC vice presidents Ella Simmons, Armando Miranda, Mark Finley, GC president Jan Paulsen, and vice presidents Pardon Mwansa and Eugene Hsu]

Ted N. C. Wilson Holds the Keys to the Kingdom?

Ted Wilson has done all sorts of interesting things - lived in Abidjan, been president of something large and significant in Moscow, and received a Ph.D. in Religious Education from New York University. To some astute GC watchers, this puts him next in line for the presidency of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists once current president Jan Paulsen leaves the post. And to further drive the Ted-Wilson-as-president buzz, this official picture from the GC website has Wilson at the front of the line of current vice presidents ahead of Ella Simmons, who looks awfully lonely floating amid the veep sea of men. And what is with the creepy right-eye motif?

Of course from another perspective, the picture above has Ted Wilson as far away as he can be from current president Jan Paulsen, indicating that Wilson is least likely to become the next Prez. Some folks have hinted that Mark Finley (who for some strange reason reminds me of Kermit the Frog) might be next in line.The truth of the matter is that all this guesswork about who might be the next leader of the Free SDA World is premature. Jan Paulsen is doing a fine job of presiding, and until the conclave with its grey smoke and white smoke, the speculation will just have to sit patiently like a kid in church.

Rajmund Dabrowski

A while ago I got a request for Rajmund Dabrowski (please call him Ray). Director of Communication for the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. You can find out much more about Ray Dabrowski including a podcast interview he did with Alexander Carpenter of Spectrum Magazine here.

Ray owns one of the top five most caricatureable Adventist faces of all time!

Garrett Caldwell - new PR for GC says ANN

The Adventist News Network reported today that the General Conference tapped Garrett Caldwell to take the job of PR Director for the Adventist Church. I've been tapped before, and being tapped isn't really comfortable. I hope he's alright!

His mug goes up here primarily because he has a wonderfully caricatureable face, and no wonderfully caricatureable face should go uncaricatured. But if you want to know all the juicy details about how he got tapped and why, read the ANN article here.

Thoroughly [Post]modern Clifford (UPDATED)

Clifford Goldstein is quite a character. An avowed atheistic Jew, he gave up everything (that is, swallowed a bit of pride) to become an Adventist, he says. Now, Goldstein is the church's foremost apologist as editor of the adult Sabbath School Quarterly (re-dubbed Adult Bible Study Guide). He also writes books. About dragons and graffitti in the Holy of Holies.

The full title is Graffiti in the Holy of Holies: An impassioned response to recent attacks on the sanctuary and Ellen White. Huh?

Recently, Clifford Goldstein did an interview with the Adventist Church's Centre for Secular and Postmodern Studies (re:frame.info). Now can I just note something that strikes me as ironic? Goldstein was a secular Jew, though I doubt he was ever thoroughly postmodern. But reading his stuff and listening to the guy talk, you get the sense that he would not feel very at home within ten miles of a real-life postmodernist, even though it seems he reads postmodern writers in order to disagree with them.

While he has a loosened tie and messed up hair giving the impression that he's going for the postmodern look, Goldstein is a modernist, through and through. He says so in his interview.

While studying secular and postmodern people is laudable (and it's about time the Adventist Church did so!), Sorry to tell you guys, but Cliff doesn't qualify. So far, the attempts at being edgy and current seem to have amounted to traditional Adventist talking points dressed up with a postmodern hairdo.

But we have to start somewhere.

Screen shots from Cliff's thoroughly [Post]modern interview with re:frame

---------------------------------------------

**UPDATE

Cliff fired back with this email, posted by permission:

Love your stuff, even when you make fun of me. My only complaint is that who has made me the SDA voice for post modernism? Certainly not me. And, yes, I have never claimed to be post modern. Though aspects of it I like, even very much—I reject its foundation premise (if post modernism can have one) which is a rejection of any meta-narrative. Yes, I’m not a post modern but wonder where you got the idea that I was or ever claimed to be, however much I enjoy reading it (and I don’t read it to refute it; I read it to get what I can out of it while rejecting what I don’t agree with) Your stuff is funny, if not exactly unbiased.. Cliff

Dionne Parker [Adventist Women]

I received an email today that began, "Hello: I am one of the attorneys in the General Conference Office of General Counsel..."

Dionne A. Parker, Associate General Counsel for the Seventh-day Adventist® World Headquarters recently left a high-intensity job at a Washington D.C. law firm to serve the General Conference as human resources and intellectual property matters czar for the General Conference, ADRA, Pacific Press, Review and Herald, North American Division, and Adventist Risk Management.

Part of that job is sending emails to bloggers like me and David Hamstra informing them that they are not allowed to use the church's logo or name. They're copyrighted, trademarked, registered, and protected by tanks and helicopters.

In an interview with the Adventist Review (reg. required), Parker stated that she became serious about law at Columbia Union College, and went on to receive a law degree from George Washington University.

Dionne Parker's position as protector of the copyrighted corporate church name is evidence that the church has come a long way from the Adventist pioneers who opposed organization and finally agreed to take an official name only to assure that members of the Adventist community could be pacifists with legal protection by belonging to an official organization opposed to war on moral grounds. As I've said, we have come a long way.

Ella Simmons [Adventist Women]

Dr. Ella Louise Smith Simmons, former provost at La Sierra University, is the first woman ever to hold the title of vice president of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. Hers is the highest position ever attained by a woman in the Adventist Church. While many in the church hailed the day when administration at the highest levels became more inclusive, others have responded with ruffled feathers.

In talking with Adventist media, Simmons said, "I think that the church really is ready for women, at all levels, and in all roles, to fully accept God’s call on their lives, and to function in those roles, officially sanctioned by the Church."

Great Controversy dot Org (which describes itself as "a positive place on the web for the three angels’ message") called the statement "troubling" and "apparently defiant". The folks at Great Controversy evidently feared a church-wide rush to ordain women, a right exclusively granted to men at present. Women cannot become president of the General Conference because the president must be ordained, and women are not ordained.

Concerning women and equality, Great Controversy (dot) org states: "God still has His hand on His church. If this is a trial balloon for Women’s Ordination, then let it be shot down." So much for a positive place on the web...

Nevertheless, we join those who welcome the election of Dr. Ella Simmons as vice-president of the General Conference!

Robert Folkenberg

Robert S. Folkenberg was president of the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists from 1990 - 1999. Folkenberg was born in Puerto Rico and attended school in Cuba. He studied at Atlantic Union College, Andrews University, and Newbold College. Pretty International chap, which is a good trait in a General Conference president. A less good trait is getting mixed up in allegations of financial impropriety. Folkenberg resigned as president because of allegations, though his resignation had to do with not wanting to mar the reputation of the church by cooperating with an investigation. His resignation did not include an admission of guilt.

Folkenberg today is very involved in worldwide evangelism. He is director of Global Evangelism for the Carolina Conference of SDA.

This is a digital painting of Robert Folkenberg I've been working on for a while. I may decide to touch it up more later if time allows it.

Ángel Manuel Rodríguez

José Rojas

Clifford Goldstein

Clifford Goldstein grew up a secular Jew with plenty of interest in philosophy and no interest in Christianity. A conversion experience later in life saw Goldstein swing from atheism to Adventism. Once part of the Adventist Church, Goldstein published several books defending traditional SDA doctrines, served as editor of the Adult Bible Study Guide (formerly known as Sabbath School Quarterly), and wrote a regular column for the Adventist Review. Of all his many accomplishments, his TV show on the Hope Channel called Cliff! and his being featured on Wikipedia.com must rank among the highest.

By the way, Clifford Goldstein doesn't approve of liberals.

Jan Paulsen

Jan Paulsen is a cool General Conference President. That's because he talks with the youth of the church. Face to face. Live on TV. The discussions are Q & A sessions that allow youth from around the wide world of Adventism to ask questions of their president, which he answers in front of the live audience.

Paulsen is also an ordained minister. And he's from Norway, which is also cool. He has served as a teacher and principal in Africa, a teacher and principal in England, and the author of a book called "When the Spirit Descends". It might sound like something from Harry Potter, but it's not.

Jan Paulsen recently spoke out strongly against Adventists taking up arms in military conflict. He said:

Mark Finley