Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How David Asscherick Became Rob Bell

David Asscherick is an Adventist evangelist and the main man for ARISE Institute (and please do not leave out the "I"). Asscherick (pronounced ASH-rick) won the Caricatures of Adventists who's-the-most-popular-Adventist contest by 4 votes over second place finishers Don C. Schneider and Hans Deihl. The prize for winning that popularity contest is the caricature above. Congratulations.

I also decided to tell David Asscherick's life story, or something close to it. Relatively little is known about Asscherick's early years, but they might have looked something like this:In order to fit in with other kids his age, young David wore a rubber mask and fought crime.He went through that awkward teenage phase that we all go through.As he matured, he began to transform into a nice young man who used to be a punk rocker and extreme sports enthusiast, but isn't any more. Except he still likes surfing and rock climbing, which could be considered extreme by some Adventists' standards.Now he preaches to youths and old people too, and he wears trendy glasses.David Asscherick, the guy who used to look like Alfalfa now looks like a postmodern, urban guy.In order to complete the transformation from somewhat geek to somewhat chic, David Asscherick stopped combing his hair to one side in order to look like...Rob Bell, who is a famous postmodern Christian guy who makes short movies with edgy themes. David Asscherick, who is sort of famous, but not really postmodern also makes short movies that are kind of edgy, in an Adventist way.
The End.

13 comments:

supermassiveblog said...

This really is a FANTASTIC blog and I just randomly stumbled upon it.

Keep up the great work and spare no one!

It's time we had some fun around here

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for you. It´s a shame that instead of presenting what you think is the truth you are just wasting your time with this blog

SDA Caricatures said...

Don't feel sorry. This post does present what I think is the truth.
:-)

Brent Baum said...

I'm sorry to hear that anyone is judging what other do with their time as a waste. Am I wasting my time by posting this? Maybe, but it's my time so get over it!

Anonymous said...

I think it is actually nice having "another" Rob Bell...I wish we could have more people like them.

Emmanuel said...

Who do you guys think would win in a fight? I personally think David will,but Rob probably packs a good punch. It will most likely go to 12 rounds and Rob might get the decision simply cuz he is not adventist.But David can still out-preach him. shout out to Matt Williams! Rob got knocked....son!

Matt Willliams said...

Who would look better as a tranny Rob or David? I totally think David would.
He has that tranny look. But they both sound kind of girly when they preach. So maybe they both are. Is it me or does any one esle think David is a closet gay? Maybe thats why he hate on our homo brothers so much. A little self hate? Maybe? Maybe Not?
Manny, What up my Niggy!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Someone once said that Adventists should be more like the evangelicals in regards to ministry. Stangely the same people poke and make fun of Adventists who do things like the evangelicals saying they are unorigina or just copyingl?!? Make up you mind, stop being a hypocrite, and just be a Christian towards everyone, especially those of your own faith. Do you think David Asscherick really cares what you say? No, he's out there doing ministry, you're just inside the safe walls of Adventism poking fun of your own brothers?!?

Administrator said...

If only Asscherick was as revolutionary (not regressive) as Rob.....

fred fedor said...

Remember, John the Baptist was no movie star. He introduced Jesus to the world. David is doing the same only to a much higher degree. I'm 72 years old and I've witnessed a lot of preachers and I would trust Dave over just about all them. I don't agree with everything he preaches, but a closed mind has value only with an open heart....

Anonymous said...

You're all hypocrites in my opinion. God Almighty is the only true judge and we're all accountable to Him, so you'd better get ready to meet your maker!!

Veggieburger Network said...

I always take very seriously the threats of anonymous blog commenters who advise getting ready to meet one's maker. Of all the people I talk with in this world, they are the ones I most take to heart.

Anonymous said...

Stop trying to see in others what you want them to be and be who you are and think about how God sees you.