Friday, September 19, 2008

Boonstra on the Boob Tube

Adventism has its own honest-to-goodness televangelist, Shawn Boonstra. A friend of mine living in the Los Angeles Metroplex says that Shawn Boonstra was on KCAL 9 TV last Sunday morning (competing with Joel Osteen on the Fox affiliate).

Boonstra gets Gangsta in LA

Boonstra, who took over It Is Written after Mark Finley had "other stuff to do" at the GC (Finley's a vice-president), has apparently getting some face time in Los Angeles. Sources close to the situation (i.e. Southern California Conference of SDA's) reveal that Shawn Boonstra is going to be the speaker for a massive campaign to turn Southern California Adventist green (it's a real color, I'm not even kidding!). The campaign called cLAim is a ramped up revelation seminar-type thing that sources say will cost $1 million. I wonder how much it costs to get Boonstra on KCAL 9.

My friend who spotted Boonstra on the Tube says that his message was part of a series entitled "In Tables of Stone", which unsurprisingly is about Adventism's favorite topic--besides the three R's: Revelation, Remnant and Revelry (meat, jewelry and dancing)--the 10 Commandments!

Boonstra reportedly told a story about some Russian guy who kidnapped a girl. Everyone was outraged that the guy would do such a thing. So that's how we know that postmodernism is wrong. There ARE absolute moral values because everyone just KNEW that it is wrong to kidnap a girl and make her your captive. Postmodernism says that everything is relative, and that one person's morals are just as good as someone else's. But we KNOW that it's not true because of the story of the Russian guy. And that's why we should follow the 10 Commandments!

I wonder how well a message like that is going to go down in LA. Shawn Boonstra is obviously not gangsta. He's not really fly for a white guy. He can't lean like a cholo.

I guess he does have the "in" of being a TV star...kind of. So that should get him a little respect in Hollywood at least. And come to think of it, there are probably lots of people in LA who can identify with a message about tablets and stone--those Californians... It'll be interesting to see how the Million Dollar Man does next year in the hood. Stay tuned!

Meanwhile, enjoy these screenshots my Cal Pal got for me:


Anonymous said...

Have you considered Danny Shelton, 3ABN founder and former president? A controversial figure, Danny has long been one of the foremost faces of right-wing, old-time religion Adventism.

Caricatures of Adventists said...

You mean the white guy with a fro? Yes, I have considered him. I consider him unique-looking enough to merit a caricature of his own. Coming soon.

Anonymous said...

Boonstra may be decidedly NOT gangsta, but I think he may be more of a vato loco than Osteen. Even though that guy's got more money than the GC I couldn't find a single google image of him all blinged out or posing in front of a tricked-out turbo 'vette. And he's just so smiley! A weak showing from the O-dogg. On the other hand, he does have the hot blonde groupie wife (see T, Ice). Boonstra at least had some facial expressions one could imagine making while in the midst of a drive-by.

Danny Shelton has them both beat, though. If half the stories from his last days with 3ABN are true, that guy's OG for life, yo.

Pinoy Pastor in Terrace, BC said...

dude!!! this is AWESOME!!!!

Richard said...

Hasn't Mrs. Osteen been in court a lot more this year than Mr. Boonstra has?

A much more publicized trial, at least. And a civil case, not criminal. But gangsta folk HAVE to appear in court at some point, don't they?

Joe Cirigliano (IIW) said...

Does Shawn's gang sign represent Westside L.A. because the Adventist Media Center is in Simi Valley, or Westcoast, or Western Canada?

Caricatures of Adventists said...

The "W" is either a sign of support for the outgoing president or it stands for "Witnessing" gangsta-style.